OMG

Dwayne Johnson Is the 'Tooth Fairy'

/dies

Why does toothpaste expire?

Seriously. Or does it? Is it as random as pharmaceuticals that "expire" in a year, only to be rounded up and delivered to third-world countries because they're still effective?

(Please say yes. I happened to glance at the new tube I opened this morning, and it expires next month. Next month. No way can I use an entire tube in one month. Which means the one I just threw away probably expired in 1972...)

Search History

Random things on my mind:

Metric System Thriving In Nation's Inner Cities**

How to Recover Almost Anything

How to Exercise While Sitting at Your Computer

**oldie, but hilarious. the others are "real".

Bitches, BTL (Not BLTs) & Thievery

x-posted from ManuscriptMavens.com

G'mornin! Today we're going for a ride on a long, convoluted train of thought from thievery to bitches. (No comments from the peanut gallery about how all my thoughts are on long, convoluted trains.)

First up, thievery. Last week, I mentioned BookEnds was running a 100 words intro contest. (I saw a few MaveFaves posting excerpts, so yay, power to the MaveFaves!) I also saw an anonymous comment which read in part:

I don't see any reason not to enter the contest with future, "first draft level" material that does not give away the full premise.

From a contest perspective, why bother entering with first draft material?? But I'm not here to nitcrit the logic of expecting to win a contest with (knowingly!) subpar material. No, friends, I'm here to nitcrit the logic behind this sentiment, which is: if I post it, thieves will come.

Not just any thieves--thieves who will steal my title/premise/opening lines, spew out another 99,900 words, and make 6 figs at auction on My Totally Amazing And 100% Original Idea.

First, I firmly believe all Mavens and MaveFaves could be given the same title, premise, and 100 starting words, and all of us would churn out completely different stories b/c we all bring our own personalities, prejudices, knowledge, skills, talent, life experiences, and blind spots to the table. (My pal Diana ran a voice experiment on her blog a couple years back that illustrates this idea.) I'm not saying that there aren't people out there willing to rip off other people's ideas (and particularly if you write super-slow or super-badly, can't hurt to exercise caution when tossing around your million dollar idea) but in general, I stand by my belief that no two people would write the same story, even if they tried.

Second, let me rebut Quote A with Quote B:

Don't worry about people stealing an idea. If it's original, you will have to ram it down their throats.

- Howard Aiken

Funny, snarky, and horribly true, n'est pas? And not just in writing. (But we're here to talk about writing. Stay on track, folks. *g)

As someone who's always coming up with crazy ideas, let me say first hand that the wilder and more original the idea is, doesn't necessarily = agents/editors/booksellers carving golden idols in your honor.

"We want different," they say, then promptly turn down Different.

Why is that?

On Thursday, Maven Lacey put forth a hypothesis about pushing yourself out of your safety zone in order to write bigger stories.

My old WIPs used to have this issue where secondary characters were quirkier & more intriguing than primary characters. I have since made an effort to overcome that (and probably did OK, considering a recent heroine is an apprentice tooth fairy) but even then, I was in safe mode, with quirky-in-a-good-way protags.

My current heroine starts the story as someone I wouldn't particularly want to be friends with. Oh, she's smart and fun and funny, but I wouldn't leave in her in my house unsupervised unless I wanted my diary scanned and posted to YouTube. (Well, if Regency England had YouTube.)

I couldn't write this story for the longest time, though, b/c I talked myself into believing I couldn't make a "bitch" character empathizable (thus making the story unsalable).

Then I caught the first episode of Dexter on CBS and fell instantly in love with the eponymous hero, never mind that he's a sociopathic serial killer. I would totally date him. (I wouldn't date Tim Dorsey's Serge, another fave sociopathic serial killer hero of mine, but I'd sure love that crazycakes Floridaphile as a neighbor.)

This was a huge wake-up call to me, as you might imagine. If my heart beats with lurve for BTL sociopathic serial killers after mere minutes of screen/page time, surely I can endear my reader to an inveterate gossip!

My biggest takeaway: Ain't nothin' you can't do in your story, as long as you do it well.

Off to be BTL...

YOUR TURN: Do you believe in truly original ideas? In what ways are your heroes and heroines BTL... or are they? Do you write "safe" characters, or those who push the envelope? Either way, how do you engender reader empathy in those precious opening pages?

I wrote today!

1100 words--w00t!

E

And then there were one!

In case you were wondering about my crit progress, I finished a full yesterday, caught up on outstanding Maven crits this morning, and am in Chapter 4 of the second (and final) full. I'm so lucky to have such talented pals... reading these stories is so fun!

Oh, and I was passed this link this morning about tomorrow night's lunar eclipse.

I'll be picking up my company from the airport right around then, so if the sky is clear we should have an excellent view of the sky as we cross back over the bay.

How 'bout you? Staying up for the eclipse?

Because I Told You So, That's Why

x-posted from the ManuscriptMavens

How was your weekend? (Are you still on a weekend, those of you who have Presidents Day free?) Because I work for myself, I get no vacation days, so I'll just watch from the sidelines... *sniff*

Based on the title of this post, you may be wondering, "What's on your mind, Erica?" So glad you asked. =)

Here's the setup: BookEnds Literary Agency is running a multi-genre contest, in which you post the first 100 words of your novel during the appropriate genre, and the winner gets a critique of your query, synopsis, and first chapter.

Right away, somebody posted:
I read it was a bad idea to post excerpts because it could be considered "published."

(In case you were wondering, the reply was that 100 words != publication.)

Before I give my thoughts on this, a quick quote by Al Franken:

"When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both."

Snarky as that is, there's more than a grain of truth in there. So often in this industry we get well-meaning but contradictory advice, and we have to make our own decisions on the best plan for us and/or our story.

Another example: Start With a Bang vs Start with "Ordinary World".

Joseph Campbell, Christopher Vogler, Michael Hauge--3 extremely respected opinions with regard to what makes a story great--all believe in starting the story with some kind of setup before the "real" action kicks in. (Vogler's Hero's Journey and Hauge's inner/outer journeys are great workshops, too.) The thought behind starting with Ordinary World first is so the reader/viewer knows how far the hero has been thrust outside his comfort zone.

(Classic example being Star Wars, wherein Luke is on his boring planet living his boring life until he comes across a mysterious hologram and his world changes forever.)

However, hundreds if not thousands examples abound of the importance of starting with a bang. If there's a murder, we want the dead body page one. If it's a romance, we want the cute meet on page one. If it's a scifi/fantasy/paranormal, we want the machines/elves/magic on page one.

Which one is right? Well, I propose: "There is no right. Only 'do'." (Yeah, yeah, bad Yoda accent.)

I think much depends on the story itself. While some lend themselves to a body falling atop the heroine's picnic blanket on page one, others may not. And I think you have to seriously consider what works best for your story, not how your story can work around advice.

Caveat: I'm not arguing against advice! As you probably already know, I'm forever reading craft books and attending conferences and listening to workshops on tape and so on.

I believe knowledge is power. I believe "don't knock it unless you've tried it." But I also believe, if you've tried it and it didn't work for you, then no matter who said it Must Be That Way, think outside the box and try it a different way. You never know. Your way might be better.

YOUR TURN: Ever taken expert writing advice and had it go horribly wrong? Ever give advice and have it go horribly wrong? Tell me all about it! I also want to hear about any books / lecturers / workshops that changed your (writing) life for the better. Share!

Off Beta-Reading!

Two full MSs rolled in this week for a couple pals I promised beta-reads to, and I'm going to try and make time to read them over the next few days because I have company coming on Wednesday. I've been dying to read both these books, so off I go...

What're YOU reading?

Etiquette for Flirting with the Boss

To whomever came to my site using the keywords "etiquette for flirting with the boss":

Ummm... don't?


To whomever came to my site using the keywords "9 sure fire ways to be unhookable":

What does this even mean? Are you trying to knit a sweater? Write a sensational story opening? Avoid a life of prostitution?


To whomever came to my site using the keywords "reciprocal pimp":

This is a Mavenism to describe the situations in which you publicly promote something or someone other than yourself (often on a website, blog, email loop, etc) and they in return do the same for you via their own connections.


To whomever came to my site using the keywords "authoress susan johnson":

Seriously? Authoress???


To whomever came to my site using the keywords "a datd point in a sample widely spread from the main points in the sample":

No, no, no! There is only one meaning of DATD, and it is Dorinda and the Demon. 'Nuff said.


To whomever came to my site using the keywords "fey tairen soul and harry potter slash fanfic":

You have got to be kidding me. Nonetheless, I forwarded your request to C.L. Wilson, authoress (bwa!) of the Tairen Soul series. You'll have to strong arm J.K.'s fans yourself.


To the search engine that sent someone to my site using the keywords "i can't put air in my tires":

??? What does this have to do with my writing blog? I'm so confused...

YOUR TURN: Those of you with web site stats, whassup? Any funny/crazy/weird keyword searches lately?

The Power of Clothes

Seriously. No, really.

The article above says:
CHICAGO (Reuters) - U.S. scientists have developed a microfiber fabric that generates its own electricity, making enough current to recharge a cell phone or ensure that a small MP3 music player never runs out of power.

If I wear a big enough shirt, wonder if it can charge my laptop? Or maybe if I get a sleeping bag made out of that stuff, I can go camping/backpacking and type away at my WIP without interruption...

How cool is that?

I [heart] My Library

Despite being horrific at returning books in a timely fashion, my library continues to loan 'em out to me. Yesterday, one of my books on hold came in:



Can't wait to start browsing... If it's as good as the title suggests, I'll add it to my keeper shelf of historical reference books! (By *buying* it, that is. Not swiping it permanently from the library. I swear.)

YOUR TURN: Do you love your library? Why or why not? Do you ever end up buying the books you borrow from the library/friends/family?

Neener, Neener

First, go vote for plot twists on my pal Virginia Henley's post on the Mavens' blog. Thanks!!

Next, my pals Kristen Painter and Karen Lingefelt both tagged me for the Random Things About Me meme, which I procrastinated for several weeks and then decided to do Diana Peterfreund-style.

Without further ado...

10 Things I've Done You Probably Haven't:

10) Got bit by a scorpion while eating pizza.

9) Got stuck on the wrong bus in the middle of Hungary without so much as a phrasebook.

8) Dropped out of high school my junior year, decided working fast food for a living sucked, went back with a furor to day school, summer school, and night school, and ended up graduating with honors one semester earlier than if I would've just stayed in school to begin with.

7) Wrote a 100,000 word novel wherein the tooth fairy gets to third base up against a tree.

6) At 23, quit my job, started my own business, and moved 1000+ miles away from all my family and friends in favor of a better climate.

5) Learned sign language with the rest of my family so my younger brothers could play with the kid next door.

4) Shattered my collarbone at a Burger King.

3) Rode a train, a bus, a boat, and a camel... all in the same day. (Trip from Spain to Africa.)

2) Modeled eye-meltingly horrific 80s fashion at a library.

1) Got lifted up to dance on stage at a Black Sabbath concert.

YOUR TURN: Whatcha done that I haven't?

Confession

I wrote yesterday for the first time in weeks... but it wasn't for my story. (It was my turn to write a chapter for the Manuscript Mavens continuity story.)

As soon as I realized writing the CYOA was so much fun, I had the sneaking suspicion I figured out the real reason I haven't been writing, and I don't really think the reason was over-commitment to various conferences and workshops, or whether I have the right voice for this particular project (which is what I've been blaming my un-writing-ness on.)

I think my problem was that I let it matter too much. To me. In my head.

Because the CYOA chapter? I knocked out 1,800 words in what felt like minute. Fun. Wacky. Easy. Easy because it didn't matter how it turned out. It was for a round robin blog. No matter how good or bad my chapter was, the Manuscript Mavens weren't going to become famous or destitute just based on reader reaction. I could write whatever I wanted however I wanted, never look at it again, and move on.

My WIP (where P=Procrastination, not "progress")? Not so much. I somehow set myself up for wanting the holy grail of prose perfection to pour from my fingertips with every click of the keyboard. (As you can imagine, that's not how it shook out.)

So, I'm putting back on my "don't be afraid to suck" hat and reminding myself no draft is final until it's on the shelves. Next time you hear from me, I better have at least a page or two written, or you have my permission to brain me with the clue stick. (Or pour me a tequila shooter. Whichever.)

YOUR TURN: Where you at? Things going swimmingly? Or drowningly? Confess!

Erica on Adventure

Today's my day over at the Manuscript Mavens blog (well, actually MaveFave Julia Harper swiped my day, so I stole Maven Lacey's.)

Come read my chapter continuation and vote on your favorite plot twist!

There's spies, thievery, machetes, vinyl stilettos, nipples... what more could you want?

I'm Alive! (But Not Awake)

Just got back from a fabulously fabulous TARA Retreat with Michael Hauge. Catching up on work-work for a couple days, but in the meantime, check out the Manuscript Mavens' Choose Your Own Adventure story running until Feb 14, where you not only get to vote each day on where the story goes, but every voter is eligible for lots of great prizes. (And there are some fabulous authors participating! Check it out!)

YOUR TURN: How was your weekend? Whatcha got on tap for this week?